One day I was
with you know who, Jesus.
And he went up into the mountains
and thousands of people followed him.
The police said five thousand,
five thousand.
Everybody knows this story.
Loaves and fishes.
See, I knew you'd say that.
That's what everybody says.
Anyway, this kid comes up to us,
about your size,
His name was...
no I have forgotten.
I still see him sometimes.
Anyway he comes up
with these loaves and fishes.
Sardines.
And Jesus blesses them
and passes the plate round.
Now the first person
he passes it to, passes it on.
He doesn't take anything.
He just passes it on.
Do you know why?
Because he had a piece
of lamb hidden in his pocket.
And as he is passing the fish,
he sneaks a bit of meat out
and pretends he's taken
it off the plate.
Do you see what I'm saying?
And the next person
exactly the same story.
Every single bastard one
of them has their own food.
And every one of them
is keeping it quiet.
Looking after number one.
But as that plate went round
with the sardines on
They all got their own food
out and started to share.
And then that plate went
all the way round
And back to Jesus
and it'd still got the fish
and the loaves on it.
I think Jesus was a bit taken aback.
He says, 'what happened? '
And I just said 'miracle'.
And at first
I thought I'd fooled him.
But now I see it was a miracle,
one of his best.
But this little kid
had stood up and...
Everybody there just got bigger.
Do you understand
what I'm talking about?
Not really.
I'm talking about you.
Now I'm really lost.
You're trying too hard.
That kid he wasn't planning
on doing a miracle.
He wasn't planning anything,
except lunch.
Something that looks like a miracle
turns out to be dead simple.
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