not everyone can relate to what you and i appreciate

standing still is death. we must keep moving forward.

ghosts are waiting to haunt us if we stay in the past with them.

we are the ghosts of the past.
quit giving your life to the ghosts.
i love my ghosts but i don't let them get to me.
or at least i try not to.

i don't know how people that aren't writers can keep their sanity. i really don't get it.
maybe everyone really is insane.
general sanity is certainly overrated.

sanity is arbitrary.
are the leaders of the free world sane?
is the free world free?
find me a benefactor and i'll look into it.

power defines sanity.
my belief is true and yours is false.
blind faith gives you an eye for an eye.
hold on...

how about,
when you plucketh out the offender's eye,
you put in back in place of the eye he hath pluck'd from you,
so now you get to see thru his eye.
now that's an interesting spin on that subject.

i'll remember that next time i'm walking around with a plank in my eye.



-brian hildebrand

Church of Infinite Communion 5-6-12

“Sometimes oneness, or unity consciousness, is then presented as a mere mental concept as if it were something we only had to realize in our mind to see manifested.

Some teachers are arguing that since we are entangled in a quantum mechanical sense we are all one.

I feel such statements are so trivial that they are meaningless to make.

Of course, we are all one in the sense that all humans are the products of the same reality and totally interconnected in this.

Yet, a mere mental realization of a concept or a spiritual insight is not enough for us to actually experience oneness and anchor it in reality.

Unity consciousness is something we need to craft and work with to see manifested...

The point to realize is that oneness is not an attribute of ourselves as individuals, but of our relationships to others and the divine “

• Carl Johan Calleman

the weight

we walk around carrying so much weight, but what is it that we're even carrying? why are we even holding on to these things?
sometimes we might dig things out and look them over, "what the hell do i need this for?" but we can't just seem to get rid of it; some use has yet to be made out of them.



where does the weight come from? how do we get so weighed down to begin with? is this what karma is? the sins of the fathers? perhaps, partly.
we are born and dressed in the clothes our family provides.
as a child we can put the weight on our caretakers; it is their job to care for us, to teach us and instill us with their values.
but how empty is the vessel of the newborn child? what things has it brought with it already, from god or karma or what have you? is there a mission it was sent to fulfil, a fate to live out?



in how much isolation do our lives actually exist? how much do others affect our journey, and we theirs? what is the ultimate measure of the worth of our life? if we rise above, does that make it a sucess?
what if we weren't meant to rise so high in this life? will we be judged a failure? could the cards have been played better? did we make the best of the hand we were dealt? who is the dealer, anyhow? how much effect do we have on what life hands us?
maybe we were too scared, too cautious; we folded when we should've bet the farm. maybe we foolishly risked it all and lost everything.
how can we know how best to play the cards? maybe we won the last round and needed to lose this time so the other guy could win. but is that what it all comes down to, in the end, victim and victimizer? is that the only game there is to play?

('the weight' continued)

i've been carrying plenty of weight. some things i made myself, others were given to me. some things i took without knowing any better.
we've all tryed to unload things on people that they couldn't accept. "but, you took my load before, why won't you take it now?"
maybe it's not for them to take.



when we think we're in love, we feel as if that weight has been lifted by the other person. you and me becomes we, for a time.
but what do we do when you and me returns? do we try to shove these identities back under the 'we' umbrella? where is it that the separation has even occurred? why now do we try to assert our individuality?
perhaps the idea of 'we' has become its own weight. i've never made the reconciliation past that point, so anything i could say would only be a guess.



what if we approached each encounter as that one relationship?
what if every interaction was between we?
what if we were able to empty our bags in front of each other and look thru the contents together?
"holy shit!" we might exclaim, "i've been looking for that gizmo my whole life and i didn't even know it until you showed it to me."
what if the weight we carry could be used to repair the holes in each other's souls?
it rhymes, so it must be true.

if he does not shine, he is darkness

i must forgive these sins before i make myself die for them.

what if it is the village we have made of our minds in which no prophet is accepted?
are we delusional for wanting to be the prophets of our own lives?

let us manifest the kingdom thru every moment, thru every experience and perception, for what we do not manifest we project, and what we project we invest our faith in, that it may rule over us.

let us manifest our faith in what is good, what is just, what will lift the spirit. let us invest our faith not in you and me, in fucker and fuckee, but in the connections that exist between us and bind us, in the all in all, in the entirety of the universe in every moment. let us be here together.

all this creation needs is your complete and undivided, unprojected faith. then will the kingdom be manifest.

-brian hildebrand